Entry tags:

little fic, spuffy

Good Is Good, 1/1, Spuffy, PG-13, Song-fic
Title: Good Is Good
Chapter: 1 of 1
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Spike/Buffy, Xander/Willow
Time Period: Post "Chosen"
Summary: Buffy's convinced that Spike isn't gone, and that she's still seeing him. Song-fic to "Good Is Good" by Sheryl Crow.
Disclaimer: I own neither the characters or the song; merely borrowing both.

This is an all time favorite song of mine. I fell in love with it, and it prompted me to buy the whole album, and I'm very glad I did. "Wildflower" is going down as one of my favorites by Sheryl Crow. (And if you haven't heard any of it yet, go do so!)

Buffy twisted her neck around, trying to spot the flash of blonde she knew that she’d seen. “Buffy?” Willow asked, frowning at her friend.

“I saw him again,” Buffy said, still looking. She heard a sigh, and knew the type of face Willow was pulling.

“Buffy…”

“Stop it! I know I did!”

Good is good and bad is bad
But you don’t know which one you had

“No, you didn’t,” Willow said as patiently as she could. “Now stop it already.”

With a huff of disgust Buffy turned around, stood, and left. She was not going to listen to Willow.

She knew that she’d seen Spike.

Sunnydale had been gone for three months, with Spike and Anya gone with it. Xander had slowly gotten over Anya, and he and Willow were dating. Both seemed very happy with things the way they were. The only one who was still thinking about Sunnydale and what they’d lost was Buffy.

Last week had been the first time she’d seen him. His blonde hair had stuck out in the crowd, and a hint of black had covered his pale frame. She’d tried to call out to him, but he hadn’t heard her in the din of the crowd. The shopping center had been packed for that time of night, and she’d quickly lost him.

Upon telling everyone back at their new headquarters, stationed in an old high school of all places, she’d been met with patient talks about how Spike was gone, and wasn’t coming back. She’d just seen someone else, that was all.

She stepped out of the restaurant and into the bustling crowd of the evening, but he was gone again. He was always gone too fast for her to find him.

She paused briefly outside of a small bookstore and examined the titles available. Maybe a good book would keep her mind off of him. Maybe that would do the trick.

One look at a romantic cover of two blondes wrapped up in each other, both looking exceedingly happy, and Buffy was continuing on, ignoring the pangs of her heart.

She put your books out on the sidewalk
Now they’re blowin’ round
They won’t help you when you’re down…

Once she was back in her room, she closed the door and curled up on her bed. She was rapidly falling apart, haunted by his memory and the growing hope that he was alive and looking for her.

Out in the hallway, she could hear Willow and Xander talking. “…saw him again. I don’t know what to do, Xander.”

“We’ll talk with her. I don’t know why she’s got this sudden obsession with him, but it’s not doing her any favors.”

“Maybe she just needs somebody else. Someone else to take her mind off of Spike. I’ve tried hooking her up with several guys, and…”

“They all fall short. I know. There’s nothing we can really do, though. Just keep telling her he’s not back.”

“But what if…what if he is, Xander?”

A sigh. “I don’t know, Wills. Don’t you think he would’ve found her already if he was? She’ll be happier once she moves on. She wants to be loved and be happy, right? That’s all she’s ever really wanted. We’ll find her someone nice to move on to. And she’ll be our happy Buff again.”

Buffy just tuned them out. They didn’t understand. They never would. He was back; he just hadn’t found her yet. But he would. She didn’t want anyone else. She just wanted him back.

Love’s on your list of things to do
To bring your good luck back to you

She’d wasted so much time, so much precious time with him. She wasn’t going to make that mistake again. Three years she’d had with him, four if you counted that first year he was chipped. She’d had him with her every day, and hadn’t counted her blessings. Not until it was too late. Don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone.

Why was she so stupid? Why hadn’t she seen? He really had loved her, loved her up to the moment he’d made her leave the crumbling cavern. He’d wanted her safe.

And he hadn’t believed her.

Of course he hadn’t believed her. Why would he? After all those years of telling him he was beneath her, a disgusting monster, she hated him, despised him, couldn’t stand to be around him, and one little year full of war and grief, where she’d treated him with the kindness he’d shown her so many times before, was supposed to tell him that she loved him?

She cringed at the memory of her words. She’d told him so many times how she’d despised him, loathed him, wished him dead and gone. Well, she’d gotten her past wish, albeit after many years.

How much longer would it take to get her new wish to come true: to have him back in her arms?

The sound of the rain falling made her glance out the window. The earth was crying for her, with her. How poetic. Spike would’ve been there in an instant, to wipe away the tiny tears that were running down her face, to make everything all right again.

She turned away from the storm and buried her face in her hands, only thinking of the storm within herself.

And if you think that everything’s unfair
Would you care if you’re the last one standing there?

And every time you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightning strikes
And does it ever make you stop and wonder?
If all your good times pass you by…

At lunch the next day, Willow and Xander tried to talk with her, but she wouldn’t listen to them. She couldn’t. Not when she knew that deep down, Spike was back, was looking for her. He just hadn’t found her yet.

Eventually, Willow and Xander stopped asking her to reconsider, and moved the topic to their engagement party. It would mark the period six months before their actual wedding day, and they planned to go all out. “Way happier than the first time around, and I’m doing it right this time,” Xander said, smiling and taking Willow’s hand. Willow blushed but smiled back.

“We should do streamers,” Buffy said, smiling. “Streamers are fun. What colors? I’m thinking white and black, maybe some red to match Willow’s face…” She laughed as Willow threw a playful swat at her.

“Fine, white and black streamers,” Willow said. “Maybe some gold, too.”

“Let’s go silver instead of just plain white,” Xander suggested. “Or maybe both, just for the heck of it.”

“So…who’s on the invite list?” Buffy asked. The talk of silver and gold colors was making her think of Spike’s unique hair color, and she wasn’t going to upset them with talk of him. They just needed to get off the subject of colors so Buffy wasn’t upset, either.

“Giles, Dawn, you, us, Faith, Robin…” Willow started ticking off. “Basically sort of an open house. There’s a few people at our jobs we’d like to invite as well. We’ll just leave the door open. I’m not particularly worried about vampires; we’ll have more than enough Slayers invited to handle any possible problems.”

Except Spike, Buffy thought silently. There will be no staking of Spike. Because he’ll come, especially to wish his favorite witch and possible favorite whelp the best of luck. And, of course, to see me. Because I’ll be dressed up, have my hair up, just enough to tease him and have him want to take it down again, so I’ll make the clip easy to take

“Buffy?”

Buffy blinked, glancing over at Willow and Xander. Their faces fell at the look on her face, and they sighed. “Buffy, he’s not going to come,” Willow said quietly. “He’s not…not here anymore. You have to move on.”

Buffy covered her ears. “Just stop it already,” she pleaded. “He is too fine. I know he is. I don’t know how he got out, but he did. I know it!”

I don’t hold no mystery
But I can show you how to turn the key

“Buff, listen to me,” Xander said quietly, reaching out and taking her hands in his. “Do you really think Spike wouldn’t have been able to find you after all this time? From what you say, he’s been here for over a week, and he still hasn’t managed to find Scooby Headquarters. Plus, why didn’t he contact you immediately, tell you he wasn’t dead? Why keep it a secret all this time?”

“We moved a lot,” Buffy argued. “You know that. LA, Cleveland, New York…”

“We’ve been in New York for over two months,” Willow said softly. “We’re listed in the phone directory.”

“My home phone’s been having problems,” Buffy said, giving her a look. “Remember? We had demon problems, and the problem in question promptly wiped out the telephone pole for my neighborhood? And it’s not as if he’d call either of you two. You two don’t want me with him, never did. So why would he call you to ask you?”

“That’s not fair,” Willow started, but Buffy shook her head.

“You know what? It’s actually really is. You’re telling me now to find someone else, because if I’m in any couple, I’ll be happy, but I won’t. The only person I want, need, love, is him. And yeah, I realized it too late. But you two won’t listen to me. I know he’s here. He’ll find me. He always did.”

Xander and Willow began to argue with her, but she turned and left, ignoring them. Her heart, however, simply couldn’t.

“…long gone and dust at the bottom of Sunnydale…”

“…and if you loved him so much, why did you leave him there…”

“…to think reasonably, Buffy; Spike’s not coming back for you…”

Buffy clenched her fists and sped up her pace, hurrying into her room and shutting the door. She wished she could have a picture of him, some sort of memento. All she had were memories of blonde hair, sweet smile, deep accented voice, and the burning sensation in her hand as she’d told him she loved him.

And his response as he’d shoved her away from him.

She curled up in her bed, staring despondently at the wall.

‘Cause all I know is where I started
So downhearted
And that’s not where you want to be…

The day of the party came, and the school was soon filled with the laughter and smiles of everyone present. The good mood was catchy, and even Buffy’s spirits were lifted. As if by some unspoken rule, neither Willow nor Xander talked to her about him. Buffy didn’t say anything either. This was their night, and she was not going to think about Spike.

Because they were right. He really was gone. He would’ve found her already if he was. She would’ve been the first person he’d have looked for after the fall of Sunnydale. If he hadn’t already, then she was just seeing other people, and not him. It was time to end this.

In the old auditorium of the school, Buffy clutched her tiny sheet in her hands, ready to present the engaged couple and their friends with a speech she’d written. She wasn’t one for words, but she’d tried, and she thought they’d really like it anyways.

She glanced outside, and the sound of thunder echoed across the auditorium. The rain still hadn’t let up in over a week. Was it crying for her, now that she wasn’t?

Buffy turned away from the window, feeling the anger at herself building. She wasn’t doing this anymore. Spike was gone. End of story.

And every time you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightning strikes

Her speech wasn’t the best, but everyone still smiled at the right parts, laughed at the right parts, and Willow and Xander were beaming at the end of it. That was all that mattered.

There was a general applause and shout outs to the future bride and groom to be, and Buffy smiled at the amount of people in the audience. All here, cheering for the two lovebirds. It was so sweet.

She wondered if they’d have been here for her and Sp…

Buffy shut the thought down before it could finish. No more. Enough was enough. She was being foolish.

A glimmer of black stepped out of the auditorium, and her traitorous eyes followed the figure. She couldn’t see the hair, but it was a slender build, and definitely male.

“Buffy?”

She turned to Willow and Xander, who were beckoning towards the leaving crowd. “Time for the real party!” Willow said cheerfully.

Buffy nodded and smiled. Chocolate and champagne; two of life’s greatest things. She’d be happy all night, and wake up just as happy.

But the memory of the person in black wouldn’t leave her thoughts.

And you could find a rock to crawl right under…

The party was just getting started when one of the younger Slayers came over, frowning. “Um, there was this guy in there, someone I didn’t know,” she said. “I just asked him what he wanted, and he said he just wanted to see ‘Red and the whelp’ off.”

Buffy froze, slowly turning around to see the girl standing and looking confused. Willow and Xander stared at the young teen. “What did he look like?” Xander asked.

Before she could answer, Buffy stepped forward. “Did he say anything else?” she asked eagerly. She heard Xander’s huff of growing anger and frustration, and Willow’s soft and disappointed sigh. She didn’t care; Spike had to be here. No one else would say that.

“Yeah: I’m supposed to give a message to Goldilocks, and tell her that he was…hey, wait!” the young Slayer yelled, but Buffy didn’t care what else she had to say. Spike was here.

If all your good times pass you by…

“Buffy!” she heard Xander yell behind her, and she could hear his pounding footsteps behind her, along with the fast click of Willow’s heels. She kept on running, pushing through the doorway and out to the hall, where she ran as if her life depended on it.

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to shine…

Buffy flew through the halls, Xander and Willow still hot on her heels. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and her breaths were short and painful, but she didn’t care. Spike, her Spike, the Spike she loved, was really here. She’d been right all along.

And now she’d have him. Providing that he hadn’t left yet.

Their footsteps soon dwindled away to nothing behind her, but still she kept running. Past the auditorium towards the final hallway that would take her to the best doors that he would exit out of. Except he wasn’t leaving.

When your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don’t belong
But you don’t know why…

She slid to a halt outside the exit doors. “Spike?” she yelled out desperately, still trying to draw air into her battered lungs. “Spike!”

And every time you hear the rolling thunder…

There was a pause of silence throughout the hallway, save for her ragged breathing, and then, then, the soft tap of footsteps that weren’t her own, that were behind her. Slowly she turned.

You turn around before the lightning strikes…

There was no sound now either. Just staring, eyes meeting for the first time in months, soft smiles and wide eyes full of hope and happiness and relief that yes, the other one was really here.

And does it ever make you stop and wonder…

Then, the soft tap of his shoes, the tiny clicks of her heels, both speeding up as they ran towards the other.

If all your good times pass you by…

When Willow and Xander finally caught up with her, they found a scene they most certainly hadn’t been expecting.

Buffy had her arms wrapped around a black duster, tears streaming down her face, only to get caught in her huge smile. Her blonde hairdo, perched on top of her head, was falling apart, pressed too tightly against a black clad chest. Her eyes were closed, and her entire being radiated happiness.

Her blonde hair tumbled down her back with a quick tug of his fingers, and he rested his chin on top of her head, a smile gracing his own face. Eyes that would’ve been crystal blue were closed in contentment, and his own arms were tightly wrapped around the tiny blonde in his care.

There was no way that either Spike or Buffy was going to let go of each other anytime soon, that much was obvious. Willow and Xander settled for staring in shock.

Buffy could’ve cared less. “I love you,” she whispered, and his arms got impossibly tighter around her.

“Love you too,” Spike whispered back, and her smile got impossibly bigger.

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to shine
When your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don’t belong
Neither then do I

END

~Nebula